Diary of a UN Volunteer in the Congo

Wiping away the sweat is what it's all about thesevolumes of traffic since the turn of the millennium.
days. The Prado thermometer read 39 CelsiusThey earn around $40 per month, but like
yesterday. It makes you develop a twisted kindteachers, doctors and policemen or anybody
of affection for the office air conditioning, the kinddependent on 'government' salaries, often they
of deranged affection someone, erm, lacking in airreceive nothing. This in a place where food and
might display. But what we really crave here is acommodities can be more expensive than in
little of Europe's winter snow. Just for a day, justEurope.
to spread the love. If they are having it hard"But the bottom line here Ben, is...that the people
taking a chill pill at home, maybe they could checkin control..."
in here for a sobering lesson in meteorological"... don't give a f**k." Ok then.
relativism.The street kids are known as sheges. They are
About 20 seconds is what it takes in this heat forthe bottom of the barrel, below even the kids
a shirt to grip your skin. And the hottest monthwho never manage to sell the tissues in the
has yet to arrive. That's February, and the onlyplastic orange packaging. They roam the
relief between now and May will be the hugeboulevard imploring the white men and the four
tropical storms that dump torrents of water inby fours, begging at the driver window, the bigger
split seconds, but in their wake leave a few hoursthe vehicle the more relentless the performance,
of plausibly stiff air. When that happens you floatalways falling on deaf ears. The ones with polio
on clouds, serenely breathing in the draught tohave it even worse, peering up from the
lubricate your mind and your gut, and out again.concrete hoping for any semblance of response.
Life is so balmily good the smirk won't lift fromIt's every man for himself, and that's where the
your face, but the next roll of oppressiveness isequality ends.
no further away than the other side of the dawn.Businessmen forfeit durable client relationships for
So you buckle up and pray the interval to thethe sake of short-term gain, money for nothing
next rain is brief, and meanwhile dream of frostedand your chicks certainly not for free. There is no
fields and iced tarmac in Ireland.such idea as 'good service', an elaborate western
It's worlds apart here, of course, in more waysnotion which there is no incentive to provide. If
than the weather. It might take you threesomebody did they might just become a
months, or six, to get a sense of most places,millionaire, but white men are millionaires and they
but in Congo that's about the length of time itmight just hand over the money anyway. So
takes for you to dispense with your fancywhat's the point? Everybody from polio boy to
notions and take it on the chin: it is not supposedthe president is 'on the take' because it is the only
to make sense. You may scour the minds ofmodus operandi that holds currency. "A day to
westerners who have been here a while, like Benday existence is all they've ever known", says
at the British Embassy, for some guidance onBen, so they're not inclined to plan for tomorrow.
how to get it across. "You can't." How one couldThe western mind is already incapable of squaring
put it into a sequence of words, to convey anany of it but this is the point at which he stops
idea of the place. "You can't." Ok then.trying: he is invited to a Sunday gathering by his
Dichotomies warp the mind. A State in a state, aFrench friend and Congolese wife. Guests are a
Stateless land in a state of disrepair, a Statemixture of well-paid white Europeans and
beyond the point of no repair, perhaps. There iswell-educated black Congolese. Drinks and nibbles
no State! The rusted morsels of Kinshasa werecomplement the conversation, before his wife and
inherited by the undergrowth generations ago,her church-choir friends rise to perform.
every layer since came to rest through 50 yearsThese black gospel voices quiver with the power
of stagnation. It is stuck in neutral. Seen '28 Daysof angels, transporting a mesmerised audience
Later'? Or 'Shawn of the Dead'? They wouldn'tdirectly to the gates of heaven. For perfection of
seem so spooky anymore.harmony and rhythm, he has heard nothing like it,
How does a city stay standing on its feet afterever. Where does it come from, this sound of
generations of rot and neglect? The rains carveamazing purity? It is such a state of elevated
cavities in the streets so deep traffic must takebeauty. But how to square with the ugliness and
detours. Nobody ever comes to patch them up.the horror? Trying to reconcile such things is
Refuse is not collected unless the EU happens tobeyond him, just like it is beyond everybody from
have a rubbish directive at the time. Only onethe outside.
crossroads in a city of eight million is served byAre the secrets written in the wind? The one
traffic lights; otherwise at key junctions a trafficthat whips up in 30 seconds, tossing the dust
'facilitator' mounts a little pulpit in the middle of theabout with a reckless indifference, heralding the
street and directs operations with his contrivedangry rains that, peculiarly enough, everyone longs
bundle of hand gestures. These are some of thefor; because if there is one time you can't go
heroes of a city which has only entertained largewithout here, it is the time to clear the air.